The Undeniable Love of Homegirls.

Ain’t nobody ask to inherit hyper-independence from my mom and emotional unavailability from my dad. If I had a choice, I would’ve highkey taken a trust fund. But instead, I got a master class in being a closed-off Black hottie. This, coupled with my double Virgo placements, made me the type of friend who’s close—but not too close. That was until 2024, when tragedy came knocking at my door like the police with no warrant, and I rediscovered the love of my homegirls.

Typically, I respond to life's storms by retreating into hermit mode until I can piece myself back together. No timeframe—it could take months. I cut everyone out and I refuel.

Being lowkey hella dramatic, I sent one of my closest friends an email saying I needed a break and would see her on the other side of this funk. I know, mad dramatic. In our absence, I missed her terribly and thought, “Why the hell am I denying myself the love of my homegirl?”

Then it hit me—I didn’t have my shit together. I don’t love my new job, but I’m thankful for a coin, Chile. And as someone who has always tied my worth to my career, I shied away from the friendship because she’s been my accountability homegirl since we were 20. Instead of showing up imperfectly, and lowkey unemployed, I didn’t show up at all because, deep down, I didn’t think I was enough.

Recovering perfectionist has entered the chat.

2024 was the hardest year of my fuckin’ life. Losing my sibling. Losing my dream car. Losing my on-air hosting gig (that I manifested out of thin air, mind you). A Bish couldn’t catch a break.

On a trip home to New Jersey, I laid my head on my friend of 20+ years lap. We’ve talked for hours, vacationed together, but I never let myself need affection from her. She’s a Libra, and her love language never included that either.
As I laid there, our other friend walked and said, “Look at y’all being emotional and shit.” We laughed because it was true. We never let our guards down low enough to need someone.

Ain’t that some shit?

Essentially, 2025 forced me to take inventory on my levels of vulnerability, and I decided that I wanted, no, I needed to show up more vulnerable with my people. They’re not judging me and, contrary to my inner critic, they care about me.

So my advice to whoever is still reading this, no matter how life is flowing—whether your career is good or bad, whether you're madly in love or f*** n***** free—water your friendships. Pour into them as much as you can because the love of your homegirls is the Young Jeezy song that’ll bring you back to life.

I used to think making it out of the trenches solo dolo was my superpower; but nah, my real power lies in letting myself be held.